true story:

"So I took him home drunk, and when they arrived he decided to walk up the street to go get stoned with his friends. He gave me a hug and the container of sauerkraut soup from Sigrid's. I was reminded of the time when he was 18 and under similar circumstances lost his glasses falling into a puddle, only to be subsequently attacked by a flock of geese in mating season."

"Kidz Bop 5 is blowing my God damn mind."

the euphoric state of a bacon goddess

Today is one of those days that starts off with a man in a full business suit sprinting by you on your way to the bus stop, the black and yellow labs at the end of two leashes that twined around his right hand because the left hand is pushing an empty baby stroller while he flashes a fairly exuberant grin through his ginger beard and you want to ask him if he was missing something or someone, but he's past you in a second or less and you don't feel like interrupting his apparent and intensive mission. 

another horrible moment brought to you by toothpaste and orange juice.

the tragedy inside

After two bottles of red wine Thursday night the roommate and I decided it'd be a good time to take those rotting pumpkins sitting in the front stairway down to the lake front and chuck them in. They'd been their since our ridiculously out of control Halloween party and were finally starting to rot. The larger of the two had a full fledged black ring seeping from the stem out about a quarter of the way down the pumpkin. 

Somehow I ended up with that one which was just the worst idea in the world because naturally I'm going to want to find out just how rotted out that stem is. 

We got them outside, into the major snowstorm that was currently smacking Milwaukee full in the face and started trekking towards the lake, which is roughly a dozen or so blocks East on a slight upward slant. Fortunately the way back was not uphill also and we did not have to do it barefoot, like in my dad's childhood stories. 

I only made it about two blocks before that ill-fated curiosity got the best of me and I decided it'd be a good time to test that stem out. 


Sometimes I feel like I have an internal Shakespearean play going on somewhere deep in my brain and each of my personality traits are the cast. Unfortunately the fatally flawed character always has to have her way. So, I picked it up.


Not surprisingly the rest of the pumpkin detached itself and fell onto the snowy sidewalk splattering stinking guts and carcass in a gory arch around me. 

The remaining ten blocks were saturated with the rotting scent being emitted from the gaping remains of this body I held in my arms but we did eventually make it to the lake. Or rather a bridge overlooking the lake. Close enough. On the count of three we launched them over our heads into the cold white ditch below us. Despite its misshapen corpse body, mine hit and rolled with thunderous gusto; hers stopped short against the tiniest of saplings, a muted thump swallowed up in the wind. 


We hoped our respective failures of the night weren't bad omens of an impending socially lame situation ahead of us, or perhaps a metaphor for an unfortunately awkward life. 

That awkward moment between your birth and your death.

abstract cat act

the fruit of thursday labor.

I've recently rekindled my sordid love affair with Snickers bars.

There was a band of nomads that lived in the woods down
the way. Me and skeeter's brother snuck up
to watch them dance onceand it was one of the most
 beautiful things I've seen to date. 

Remember when we were kids and we'd spend those
summer days so hot you thought the skin
would melt right off your back down at the swimming hole?
Suzy Stanley kissed Skid Bender on the lips and
later on told everyone he tasted like frogs. 

Bill Hudson used to work down at the mill
until he stuck his head into a vent and a bat
flew out hitting him square in the temple
killing both itself and good ole Mr. H.

We raced toy cars until our hands grew bloody with blisters. 

the series of a wolf kiss

moon dogs

BFFs fo LYFE

some straight up raw wonder of nature

wolves like to get their bellies rubbed.

and sniff crotches too.